David’s voice has always filled this space, and today I have the honor of helping him share his story with you.
Change is the one constant. In the past few weeks, I’ve learned exactly what that means.
The flight home from Costa Rica was more painful than I ever could have imagined. I was grateful for the wheelchair and for the airline staff who went out of their way to help us. I felt like I was flying first class because we got to the front of the line through security and each flight. Even though each leg of the flight got more painful, after 3 flights, we finally arrived in Manchester, NH, at 1 a.m. on Monday. Laurie got our car, we drove home and I somehow made it into the house and collapsed into bed.
A few days later, on Thursday, August 14th, we spent the day at Dana-Farber. I didn’t know it then, but it would be my final visit. The scans showed the cancer was continuing to grow and was spreading rapidly, like wildfire through my bones. My oncologist shared that because the cancer was taking up so much space in my bones, it was crowding out the space needed for the production of healthy blood cells, including red blood cells and platelets. This is a common complication of cancers that have metastasized to the bones. She said I would likely become more fatigued.
She gave us the prognosis: without treatment, I had about six months. With a new treatment, Pluvicto, maybe a year. We made a plan to start the treatment as soon as possible, in mid-September. My hopes were set on that year.
But life, as it so often does, had other plans. About a week later, on Friday, August 22nd, my right leg suddenly gave out. We called Dana-Farber, described my symptoms, and the on-call doctor told us to call 911. At the ER, the same thing happened to my left leg. I had a complete loss of sensation and movement from the waist down. The tumors, it turned out, were pressing on the nerves in my spine, causing paralysis. After a night in the ER and another in the hospital, I was discharged. My hopes for another year of life—my plans for Pluvicto—all evaporated. I was sent home on hospice care.
Now, I’m here, home on hospice care. Laying in a hospital bed and unable to move myself. The windows are open, a gentle breeze blowing through the room. The cats are curled up nearby, and soft music—and sometimes not-so-soft music—fills the room. After all the chaos, all the pain, all the changing plans, there is only this moment – I am living fully until I die. Taking my practice to a new level, being as fully present as possible, here in this moment right now.
Peace.
David & Laurie
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Hey David! I’ve been following along with your journey through this website. It’s interesting and gutwrenching at the same time. I miss our occasional chance encounters as I always felt better after seeing you. Any words I have to offer fall well short, but I am thinking about you a lot. Peace!
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My heart hurts for you both. Know th
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David and Laurie,
Oh so many years ago I took a yoga 101 class at sharing yoga. It changed my life and I still practice today. You changed my life. As you begin this final journey I wish you both peace.
namaste,
sharon smith
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My brother, my friend. My heart is heavy knowing all you are going through. You are an amazing human being, so brave, so kind. I am so grateful for you and for all that you have shared. It has given me the opportunity to reflect and remember your remarkable life and all the things you have accomplished. I love you so much. Love, Carol
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My brother, my friend. My heart is heavy knowing all you are going through. You are an amazing human being, so brave, so kind. I am so grateful for you and for all that you have shared. It has given me the opportunity to reflect and remember your remarkable life and all the things you have accomplished. I love you so much. Love, Carol
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Hi Dave and Laurie. I am grateful to my core for you taking the time to share this last chapter with me and so many others. Dave, I think of you every day, knowing that your time with us in body is short. I would curse the fates for visiting this disease on you, but that would be contrary to your approach and message, and so I can let that useless anger go. Indeed, you are both taking your life-practice to the highest level possible. I am honored, inspired, and motivated by your courage, and will do my very best to take the lessons you have shared â from your marvelous Yoga community to your personal journeys â to help me be a better person for my fellow travelers.
You must both know that you are loved, although it is hard to express or measure such a thing. Dave, you and Laurie have built a legacy of caring that reaches around the world. Be at peace knowing that circle of love will be here for Laurie as your memory is honored for the many gifts and blessings that you brought to me and so many others.
Thank you, Namaste, Peace!
Boyd
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My brother, my friend. My heart is heavy knowing all you are going through. You are an amazing human being, so brave, so kind. I am so grateful for you. I am also grateful for your writing as it has given me the opportunity to reflect and remember your remarkable life and all that you have accomplished and experienced. I love you so much David. Love, Carol
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David and Laurie, I’m keeping you close in my thoughts and prayers right now, and wishing you both comfort and love as you move through this time. David, it’s truly been a gift to know you. The memories of our yoga classes and trainings together are something I’ll always cherish. I hope you feel surrounded by peace and gentle support. With love,
Donna
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David, you still continue to teach us all during this remarkable transition and journey you are on. I thank you for your teachings, your music, and your friendship. Love and light my dear friend.
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David I’m so sorry to hear it is time for hospice. I don’t quite have the words. Really, so many thoughts and they all feel hollow. So Thank you for all the good energy, the music and knowledge you have shared over the years. Thank you for being a light in this world. I hope I catch you on the flip side brother Much peace and love Kat Ota
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May your journey be peaceful, David. Your bravery in meeting your own mortality has helped us all grow so much. Thank you.
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Dear David and Laurie, My heart is full of all the emotions. I will hold you two in the Light, as Quakers say. For me that means envisioning you surrounded by Light and Love, comforted by your loved ones, and secure in the knowledge that you have both given so much. You have touched more lives than you can know.
I hope you get all of the support and care you need and more.
I have lost touch, for the most part, with all of those who were part of my time in hospice, taking yoga and all. And yet all of you who were part of that time are very much a part of me and are in my heart. Laurie, I imagine you have more community support than you know what to do with, but I send my love and if you feel a pull to call for whatever reason, my number is below.
Blessings, Cynthia
Cynthia Knowles cynthia@iecc.com cynthia@iecc.com 603-438-9461
“Do not get lost in a sea of despair. Be hopeful, be optimistic. Never, ever be afraid to make some noise and get in good trouble, necessary trouble. We will find a way to make a way out of no way.” -John Lewis
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